Definition of communication:
An act of effectively transmitting ideas; imparting, telling; the exchange of ideas, messages, or information, by speech, signals, and writing.
Say It
As you speak the following phrases, believe and embrace them. Visualize yourself having what you state—possess it. Notice how your voice and body respond to each “I” statement:
I acknowledge the importance of communication.
I possess good communication skills.
I am always communicating my thoughts through my words, deeds, and actions.
I am an effective communicator, able to express myself whenever I need to.
I am exchanging and sharing words of hope, love, and success.
Believe It
As you enhance your speaking and listening skills, keep in mind that God gave you one mouth and two ears for a reason. Constantly talking without taking time to listen to others is not only aggravating to the speaker, but it limits you, too. When you talk, you say only what you know; when you listen, you learn what others know.
More than 20 years ago, I decided to attend my first Toastmasters’ meeting in an effort to become a more confident speaker in front of my peers at work. Today I speak to audiences of thousands, and I still use the fundamentals of public speaking I learned then: Establish good eye contact, maintain a relaxed demeanor, speak clearly, and express the appropriate emotions and enthusiasm to convey ideas.
To enhance her sales, my friend Beverly took a course called Assertive Listening. Every evening after class, she went home and practiced her new skills. Whenever her child spoke, Beverly would ask a probing question to get more information. With her husband, she’d repeat what he said to show him that she heard clearly before she’d respond. To her surprise, as Beverly practiced better communication, not only did her sales pick up, but she also improved relations with her family.
Effectively being able to communicate with others is essential to your success. From your business and career to your interpersonal relationships, you have to know how to balance speaking and listening, as too much of one or the other will prove to be hindrances to your communication skills.
Receive It
The next time you talk to someone, pay attention to yourself: Do you monopolize the conversation, barely allowing the other person to get a word in? As the other person speaks, are you thinking of what you’re going to say next, or are you paying attention to what he or she is saying? If you normally do plan your next comment instead of quietly and carefully listening, you’re missing the vital information the other person’s trying to tell you because you’re so busy trying to figure out how you’re going to respond.
Begin to practice the fundamentals of communication by paying close attention while others are speaking. Ask clarifying questions, such as: “When you say [such and such], do you mean [so and so]?” or “So you say you [fill in the blank]?” When you actively listen and respond to others when they’re speaking, you improve your relationship with them and gain valuable information that can help you make decisions later.
You may also want to consider enrolling in a communications course to help you in this area, as my friend Beverly did. Not only will you develop as a person, but you’ll also improve your relationships and your career. Welcome and enjoy the benefits of a new level of communication.
Quotes
“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.”
— Elbert Hubbard
“It takes two to speak the truth—one to speak and another to hear.”
— Henry David Thoreau
“It’s just as important to say what you mean as it is to mean what you say.”
— Anonymous